Understanding

A MISS in Understanding

Misunderstanding – A ‘MISS’ in understanding.

Ask yourself, what have you missed? What has been missed by the other? Were you not clear enough in your expression? Did you shut down? Did you become silent? How are you to convey your feelings, your thoughts, and how you see it, if you are unable to bring yourself towards expressing them?  

When there is a ‘MISS’ in understanding… silence… compounds… the ‘MISS’. It worsens it. 

Sometimes all it takes is a missing word, or a missing intent, or a miss in interpretation, forming the beginnings of what has now become, a mighty gap, blanketed by a blinding mist.

Over time, the gap grows. It becomes wider, it becomes deeper, more treacherous.  Where once the two sides, separating, could be bridged by a twig, the separation now grows. It needs a branch, then a log, then a mighty trunk, then a bridge, and then it becomes un-bridgeable.

It started with a ‘MISS’. 

Did you allow a MISS to become an unbridgeable gap? 

If so, what must you do? Do you continue to drift apart? 

Is it worthy of a commitment to re-build the bridge that once was?

Often it is, and sometimes it is not. 

When it is worthy to re-bridge that which has become separated, WHAT WILL YOU DO?

YOU MUST BREAK YOUR PATTERN.

When you have tried, and you have failed, if you continue to repeat the same pattern, then you will likely continue to fail.

Your pattern may be silence. In silence you may find comfort.

For those who are uncomfortable in expression, they find a great refuge in silence, hoping that “this too, will pass”. 

IT WILL NOT.

For many, silence is their comfort zone.

It was for me. At times, it still is.

To break the pattern, you must go outside of your comfort zone. 

You must find the strength from within.

You must carry that log, which is needed to bridge the gap. 

You must take the first step. Then another, and then some more.

At each step, try and maintain balance and self-composure.

This is easier said than done. If you fall, it is okay. Swim back to shore, climb up and try again.

REACH OUT 

You will have to journey to the other’s side.

As you walk across, extend your arms, hoping that the other reaches back. 

Reach out through the mist of ‘MISS’es.

SEEK TO UNDERSTAND

Remember the gap began with one MISS, which led to another, and then another. 

Ask the other what they are thinking, feeling, and how they see it?

QUIETEN your own thoughts, feelings, and ways of seeing to make room for another.  

Then OPEN UP, explain your side, whilst keeping in mind the other’s thoughts, feeling and ways of seeing. 

DEAL WITH THE MISS’ES

You must deal with the MISS’es, right there, right then. Do not let them fester. 

Over time, a great swell can flow into the ridge between, becoming uncrossable, washing away everything in its path.

Where you have the opportunity now, deal with the MISS’es. 

They can hurt. 

They hurt more over time, so it is always better to face the hurt soon after the MISS occurs. 

Identify the MISS’es. Talk about them. Clarify them. Remain calm.

EXPRESS CLEARLY

How would you clear this mist, if you shut down each time and are unable to express? 

You cannot develop an understanding without clear expression.

Convey in the clearest of terms, that which you wish to express.

This expression is better expressed from the same side of the gap, than from afar.

By breaking your pattern, you begin to bridge that gap. 

Subscribe to receive notifications of new posts via email.