Negativity

Backstabbing stabs back

Often we find ourselves talking negatively about others. We may gossip, stir rumours, be deceitful, betray another, speak ill of them, or complain. Our actions, our words, can be piercing and harmful.

These attacks are usually a function of our bias. We communicate to others our misinterpreted, misunderstood and biased perceptions without accounting for the other’s view. Our interpretations can be flawed, with pieces amiss. Yet, without seeking to understand the other, we still attack.

We may believe that our actions are not bad. We may feel that the other is deserving, our harshness is justified. If they hadn’t done what they did, we wouldn’t have anything bad to say. Sometimes we harm the other, without conscious ill-intent. We just want to vent and express how we feel. Even so, uncontrolled venting can cause much hurt.

When we backstab another, we also stab ourselves. Imagine a mirror falling from above. It blocks our path. It serves as a reminder, a reflection, that our actions are harmful. Our image shatters should we proceed. Not just our self-image, also our image perceived by the listener. The partaking listener also does harm, to self and other.

We may falsely presume that the subjects of our ill-doing do not hear us, nor see us. We fool only ourselves. Actions ill-natured do not remain hidden. The ill-doer bears witness to their own ill-doing. All our actions are recorded. They will come back to haunt us.

Back-stabbing can become our norm. We contribute towards strengthening such norms within our competitive society, where often one rises at another’s demise. However, we must endeavour to reject such ill-actions as our norm. We must break such patterns from within. We must seek to gain a deeper understanding, to remain in control, to withhold our attacks, to set higher moral standards for ourselves and to rise above them.

Next time you are stabbing someone in the back, remember this mirror standing in front of you. Whether you harm the other or not, you are most definitely harming yourself.

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