I was in pieces. I was not ‘whole’. Far from it.

In one sense, I was yet to define by my own will the nature of my character, what I ought to be, rather than what I was. In another sense, I had to separate the parts, before I could put them back together. This was a necessity, to form a better whole.

Being ‘whole’ means being integrated within. It is an ideal state, one that cannot truly be fully attained. This state of wholeness represents balance, purity and alignment of one’s unconscious and conscious realms.

Initially, I was far more fragmented. Some of my dominant fragmented parts included defensiveness, negativity and anger. Through practice of good deeds, I strengthened the fragments that were aligned towards goodness. I made these fragments larger than what they were. In contrast, I weakened the fragments that were bad, making them smaller. I lessened their hold upon me.

A ‘whole’ is a culmination of all parts, large and small, strong and weak, good and bad. I pulled apart my former and lesser whole. I put it back together with fragments altered, more integrated.

I did not do this alone.
I sought inspiration in others.
I was rigid and defensive.
I opened myself to receiving feedback.
I overcome my fear.

I knew that I had to absorb the goodness within others and bring this into my own inner realm. By strengthening the goodness that resided within, I weakened all that was not good.

We have much to gain from others. To change requires us to understand our present state, to own it, to break it down into its constituent parts, then to re-build a better whole. Support from another goes a long way. It provides opportunities for feedback. It helps to increase our understanding of self. It provides a reference for our self observations, analysis and adjustment. It accelerates our growth.

We must not be afraid to seek help from others. Another’s perspective can help change our inner alignment. We must be open to help from others and be willing to change.

She helped put me back together.

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